Not a shouty Mum

I made a lot of New Years resolutions, as I do every year. Mainly about being more organised, losing weight, excersising more etc etc. And although I am still attempting to stick to them it’s very hit and miss.

One thing I have stuck to is stopping shouting at the kids. Things were getting very shouty in our house. The girls were shouting at each other and us, I was shouting at them to stop shouting and they were shouting at me, sometimes even growling! (This, I think they got from when I attempted to shout quietly at them!)

So a month after resolving not to shout at the girls, I am really seeing the benefits of it and feeling terribly guilty that their behaviour was so impacted by mine. Albeit by me attempting to make them behave.

I have to say that I am not a saint and have raised my voice when Lotta attempted to “help” Molly roll over or run off near a road. But I have really thought about why they are behaving the way they were and 9 times out of 10 it was because they needed me and I was distracted/busy. All I was showing them was how I handled being under pressure (shouting) and they were copying!

I’ve not been growled or shouted at for at least 3 weeks, I’ve stopped being driven by cleaning up, just whipping the Hoover round when they wanted to do something or rushing them out the door in a rush and am more organised. We’re ready for school 10 mins before we have to leave so no more screaming at them to put their shoes on for the 100th time!

It really has made our house a happier one and I feel like I’m really trying to understand the why’s of the girls behaviour rather than just the behaviour itself!  This is one resolution I’m definitely keeping!!


January 2015: happy days

Here’s the things that have made me happy/greatful in Jan

  1. Molly giggled for the first time – heart melted! She’s still quite sparing with the belly laughs and I have to work hard to get one but she’s such a happy, chilled out girl I don’t mind
  2. Ella has been struggling to really engage with reading at school and while we still have a long way to go, she actually read a whole school book to us ( riveting read “in a pit”) and she was so proud of herself
  3. Progress with the house has moved on a lot this month. Ordered a carpet for the hall and stairs, our rooms painted, downstairs loo has been finished. Really feels like it’s coming together. Next step big wall knocking down and extension!!
  4. Re-connecting with Lotta. Really enjoying spending time with her whilst on maternity
  5. Working out the finances and realising it will cost me what I earn to go back to work before September so extending my maternity till then
  6. Getting back into blogging. Mainly via photos on Instagram. Have lots of things I want to write about and going to get cracking in Feb with that

Waiting…. Rant

3 days overdue. Feels like a month. Must stop complaining and thinking about how lucky I am.
Why won’t it just come out!?? Soooooooooo many people have told me how their third baby was early. This is not what I want to hear.


Come on baby!!!!!! And by the way old wives tales are just that. Have tried them all. ALL of them!!!!!

School: playground politics and the dreaded “clicks”

We have had a whole week at school and ploughing through the logistical nightmare of the introduction and holding down a full time job – with no annual leave spare cuz I’ve used it all up prior to Maternity leave starting.

The first 2 days Ella was in for an hour and a half, and then starting Monday she was in from 8.55 – 12. This is a nightmare. I am supposed to start work at 9 and I don’t finish until 5. I have been arriving 20-30 mins late for work, and then using my lunch break to pick Ella up and take her to nursery. Unfortunately I only get an hour for lunch and the afternoon session at nursery doesn’t start until 1pm. So that has meant me taking extra long lunches and praying no one is clock watching when I leave.

I’m feeling guilty that I am shovelling lunch down Ella’s throat, whilst trying to get her out of her uniform first, I can’t face having to wash it every night. (I did buy her a couple of pinafores, but made the mistake of buying different ones, and she currently has a hatred for one of them grrrrrrr!) and not really having the time to sit and chat through her day at school. I then drive her to nursery and practically dump her outside and speed off back to work.

A week and a half left of that and then yippee she’s in full days… except school finishes at 3.15. Such a nightmare – I know that hundreds and thousands of people have this issue, but I really do not know how they all manage to juggle it all and not get the sack! Thank god maternity leave starts in a few weeks. I’ll have to think about what happens when that finishes, but not right now – I have a headache!

Amongst all this rushing and dashing about I have picked up on the early start of the school ground politics. It started with a particular group of mums discussing the cars they drive, then they moved on to pre-schools the children attended and where they go to get their nails done. All pretty innocent, making small talk kind of stuff. As the mornings have progressed I have noticed by the answers mums provided the group is getting smaller. (NOT EVEN A WEEK INTO SCHOOL) I lost my place in the “cool club” when we all had to bring in wellies for the children to be kept at school. There are about 6 mums in this collection who were all proudly holding a brand new pair of pink or purple Hunters and I rocked up with Ella’s blue boy Wellies from Clarks, decorated with sparkly stickers so she knew they were hers. Apparently that was my out – as for the last 2 mornings I have been offered the groups back.

I had heard that there will be “clicks” amongst the mums and it really doesn’t bother me. I won’t buy something for my child so that I can show off to other parents; I won’t teach my children that judging someone on their appearance and belongings is a way to behave. I love that Ella chose the Wellies she wanted and that she has not got a clue about what a brand is, and why should she. She is 4. I am well aware that there will come a time when this sort of thing will matter to her. A lot. And I will probably cave in and get her something so she feels she fits in, but she’ll have to work for it in some way. But that is a long way off, and I hope she will have a sense of her own individuality by that point.

It just makes me a little bit sad that this actually still happens. I thought I’d left this all behind WHEN I LEFT HIGH SCHOOL!

Love hate relationship with bump: 37 weeks pregnant

Can you tell I’ve reached the point where I am sooooooo over being pregnant!?

I can’t move without something hurting, I have no idea what my toes/feet look like anymore. I certainly have no idea how much of a tidy up needs to be completed before D-day, well I do, a lot, I’m just delighted I can’t see it!

I’m giving the ducks at the local pond a run for their money when it comes to waddling, no position is comfy to sleep in. I have never been do tired in my life and barely have time to think about what’s in my giant belly, counting down the days till I finish work at 39 weeks. But most importantly I am far too impatient to meet this new tiny (wishful thinking) member of our family. I can’t wait to see if the girls will have a little sister or brother. Although apparently if it is a boy, it has to be sent back!!

But when I do get a moment to sit and think (in the bath as I write!) and see my bump move with a little foot or elbow sticking out, I really love being pregnant. Knowing that me alone is growing a person, I’m keeping them safe and it makes me remember how as soon as I didn’t have a bump before, I missed it!

Very odd to have such conflicting feelings. In summery pregnancy is a bit like marmite. Some days it’s the best thing ever, and sometimes you just want to be able to lie on your belly!!

i will however never stop feeling eternally grateful for the fact that I am able to get pregnant and be a mummy.

3 weeks to go, am planning on trying ALL the old wives tales to get things going. Will let you know how that goes!











Starting school

My big girl started school on Thursday and has been quite a shock at how emotional I’m finding it.

I did think it was probably due to the hormones and being 37 weeks pregnant but it is definitely more than that.

I am so happy for her, she is SO ready for “big school” and going to nursery from 8am till 5.30pm 4 days a week means that I’m not worried about her being away from me or about her settling in. Even though she is one of the youngest starting, being a July baby.

But I just feel like I’m losing my little girl. I’ve realised she doesn’t ask me to pick her up very often anymore, and although she still gives me lots of cuddles and holds my hand – it’s not quite the same as it used to be, especially when I compare her to my very clingy mummies girl 2 year old. She’s even started going to sleep without me being with me.

All of these things are brilliant and just  show me what a happy little Miss independant she has become! But I miss her chubby little baby cheeks and complete toddler abandonment!

I know school is going to change her more and hopefully for the better. I loved watching her go off happily with her teacher and wave goodbye to me, I wasn’t expecting the tears that followed (mine not hers!)

i will be savouring every second with her and those cuddles while she still wants them!